I don’t have much to complain about.  Other than the insomnia, Lupron is treating me relatively gently this time around.  I could use a decent night’s sleep; the exhaustion is going to get old pretty quickly.  But still, all in all, this place isn’t as fraught as I remember it being, before.

It’s odd – I feel like I’m at a completely limbo-ish place right now.  Nothing has changed, nothing will change.  I am so beyond ready to be going forward, that even now that I am, it’s not going forward fast enough.  Which, of course means that I don’t want to move forward, I just want to be at my destination already.  And I’ve been at this for so long that it feels like I should be there already.  ”Whaddya mean we haven’t even pulled out of the driveway yet?”

But at the same time, I’m not consumed by my impatience.  I think I’ve been here too many times.  Impatience doesn’t help, and sometimes, this limbo-place is better than what comes next, so it’s rather as if my brain is just deciding to get comfy here for a while.  An odd sensation.

So I try not to eat crappy food.  I’m off the coffee (ack) and I’m being more diligent about getting enough exercise.  I haven’t yet forgotten a dose of Lupron.  I take my prenatal like a good little infertile woman.  I look for ways to minimize my stress.  I pat my dog.  And the time will pass.  My next check is next Wednesday – right before Thanksgiving.

Here’s hoping I have something to be thankful for this year.