1.  Another month lost in the hole that is “waiting for my DE cycle to begin.”  3 weeks spent on Lupron.  Another fucking cyst.  A holiday that promised to be (and was) really hard for me to face.  And yet.

I am here.  And the Boy is at my side.  And the Wonder-whippet is underfoot.  And the stepdaughters are all being kind.  And my extended in-law family is unbelievably nice to me, and fun to be around, in general.  And my parents and brother’s family, though far away, are everything a person could ask for in a family.

I am here.  I am blessed.  And I really think that everything will come together.  I think we will be parents.  I think I will be a mother and the Boy will be as wonderful a father to Sprog as he is to his other children, and that Nellie will have a buddy who will always think of her first and foremost for the rest of her/his life when someone says the word “dog”.

Still hopeful, I am here, and I am grateful for all these things.

2.  My clinic let me come in first thing this morning for a urine culture so we can knock this UTI out of my system entirely.  And they didn’t even make me feel stupid for calling them on a Sunday about it.  And they got me out of there before I even had a chance to set down my bag & pull out a crossword puzzle.

3.  I got a lot of writing done this week.  Good writing, even.  If only I didn’t have to, you know, show up to the Realm of Pain, I might even be able to get somewhere with this whole writing-thing.  I need to find a way to do that despite it all.  Other people do, surely I can do the same?  And if I do, then I do think that I could do good work, good writing work, which is what I truly feel I should be doing with my life.

4.  Raked up leaves yesterday with the boy, and it was fun.  Granted, it was fun because our backyard is about the size of a kitchen, but still.  It inspired daydreams of future fall days spent raking the whole day away and it smelled nice, and it was a bright warm day, and I liked it.

5.  Asian yams. AKA: japanese sweet potatoes.  AKA: the best damned starchy root vegetables on the whole damned planet.  Want these to be available everywhere, because until they are, I’m going to be thinking twice about moving out of the city.  Just kidding, but I’ll seriously be buying 50# at a time and schlepping them to wherever we end up, if I can’t find them locally.  Because this is the perfect food.