7w4d – Haven’t Gotten Back on the Crazy-Train Yet
Doing better today. This should hold for another 27-28 hours and then I’ll be back on the crazy-train, but for now, it’s a comfortable place to be.
I’ve decided to put my trust in nausea and boobs that I swear to god grew a cup size overnight. I’m thinking of going to buy some cheap get-me-by bras today, but I’ll probably be too lazy to actually stir myself to do so. That’s ok. It’s good to have some long-term goals around here besides “try not to lose your mind.”
It’s my day off, so I’m going to try to make an appointment to see the OB my doc recommended – yes, I believe he is the OB to the stars! (or at least Brooke Shields.) But my insurance claims he honors my plan, so what the heck. And my doc vouches for his personality, which is, to me, almost as important as his qualifications (or his ultrasound capabilities!) I wonder if he’ll let me come in every week til 13 weeks? I’ll have to ask. If nothing else, it would get me out of the Realm of Pain for a few hours each week.
Which at this point would be worth almost anything to me.
Work has gotten unbearable again, with my return to the demesne of the Romanian Princess. In a way, it’s reassuring to realize that I don’t actually hate my profession, just my current work environment. Being in a branch where sanity is the rule of the day instead of the exception has really clarified a lot of things for me – namely that I need to get out of the Realm of Pain. The problem being (for of course there has to be a problem) that all transfers have been frozen due to big budget issues that are not likely to be resolved anytime soon.
And if all goes well, I’ll be dropping out of the librarian-game in late summer anyway.
And so that’s what I’ll try to keep focused on. I’ll try to remember that this – like so much – is temporary, and that I can endure it, get past it, ignore it if I will.
And, barring that, I can bitch and moan until everyone knows just how unhappy I am. Because I’m generous with my moods like that.
You’re welcome.
Sorry that the return to the Realm has proven to be just as miserable as it was before your brief escape. But so HAPPY to hear that pregnancy is treating you to a steady dose of symptoms. Hang in there. You’re almost halfway to feeling Sprog moving and being able to listen to a healthy heartbeat anytime you choose. Until then, I hope your superstar OB gives you all the u/s and reassurance that you need to stay off the crazy-train.
After switching to a new ob, she saw me and did ultrasounds every week until 15 weeks (which was the latest I had lost a baby) she then asked if I wanted to continue, or go to every other week etc. I don’t have the greatest insurance, but it was covered as a viability check because of unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss (I’ve lost 4). Hopefully this will help. I also rented a doppler from babybeat around 11 weeks (I just rented the cheapest one and it worked great) and was very happy with it. The doppler saved my sanity many times. I just recently returned it since I’m now 27 weeks and can feel my little girl regularly now. I hope this helps! Best of luck!
Going back to the realm of pain truly sucks, but use it as a writing tool. Make enough notes about her highness that you can use for future horror characters. Oh and thanks, for now I have an Ozzy song stuck in my head.
I just found your blog and am loving it. It’s going straight on my blogroll. I am keepng fingers crossed for your little baby, and you x
I recommend the cotton (t-shirty) bras, they seem more flexible and comfy. That was one of the first things I had to buy, clothingwise.
Glad you’re doing better, and hey, if that OBGyn is good enough for ol’ Brooke, then go for it!
Thanks for being such a support. I don’t know how I would cope if great people like yourself didn’t take the time to let me know you’re there.
Love,
Maddy