Deep Breath
Deep breath. Better today. Not hugely better, but better enough that I don’t feel like my brains are going to leak out my ears every time I use the bathroom. I’m trying to readjust my “normal” setting. For me, normal is bleeding right now, just like normal is wearing panty-liners every single day of my life to mop up the pessary mess (and doesn’t that just get old? I remember being young and innocent and thinking, “gee, it sure would be nice to be pregnant just so I wouldn’t have to deal with a period every 4 weeks.” Hah. But I digress…), just like normal is big boobs and 3am insomnia. Deal with it, Sprogblogger!
Which all basically comes down to the fact that I’m trying not to think about it. Well, trying not to think about any of it. The giddy has definitely left the room, replaced by the morbidly terrified, so I suppose it’s better not to dwell on it at all until I can figure out where giddy went and drag her, kicking and screaming, back into the building. I’m thinking in another 4 weeks or so I might be ready to go on a giddy-hunt. But til then, she can just have this head-start, because I’m in no shape to bag her.
And in the meantime, I have lots of work angst to distract me, and we also have tons of social engagements coming up – from hosting writer friends this next week, to dinners out in groups and with other couples, to big family dinners in, to LordOfTheRings marathons complete with hobbity feasts. And I think I’m just going to try – try! – to take things one day at a time.
This is normal. Normal for me, anyway. Get through one more day without brain-leakage. One more day. One more day.
Ha! I too remember the innocent days of thinking getting pg would just be 9 months without my nasty period! Walk in the park, eh? But every day you are closer to the prize, hon. Take it easy.
I am loving milk too! We are going through it at a furious pace, I’m sure this is a good sign. Sorry work continues to be stressful, but I love when you write about how awful it is (does this make me a sick person?) Would love to hear more about the hobbit party.
Thinking of you -
one more day… one day at a time… you can do it…
Hey, also keep in mind that your hormones are whacked right now. I was really emotional, and still am to some degree. This whole pregnancy thing is quite a ride. I was trying to decide yesterday if it was easier or harder than all of the IF treatments, and I concluded that it was hard, just in a different way.
The first trimester was pure terror all the way for me. Not a lot of giddy for me in the first tri…my goal was, like you, to make it through with my sanity intact…
You rock.
I think Giddy will come back/
right now, survival is understandable
sorry about this anniverary date, oh how I get the whole hearted belief- and now how impossible it is to even imagine that person who was so whole hearted
sorry about the frigging spotting, but yes, maybe it just is for now. Nothing more.
Thinking of you and hoping your weekend is filled with nummy things and whippet love.
xox
Kate
It’s not easy but you can do it. You can! And giddy will be back!