Quietly, Pukingly Happy
Although I can usually alleviate The Nausea by eating, eating is now followed by The Heartburn. At least I think this is heartburn. Never having felt anything like this before, it’s a bit hard to say for certain; but it’s centered around my, er, heart, and it feels like stomach acid is eating away at my lower esophagus, and damn, this is unpleasant. Small bland meals, eh? Well that’s just sucky (and unlikely to happen unless this turns into the heart-blazing-inferno, at which time I might feel as if I need to reevaluate my love of all things food.)
I managed to give myself a lump in the belly with a Lovenox shot a few nights ago. I had a bleeder, which I never really do, but it bled up into the syringe, which made an interesting pattern of droplets when I deployed the needle guard toward the sink. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but tonight I noticed that there’s a distinct lump of a bruise on that side, so I had to change spots, which hurt more than I’m used to it hurting. But I know it’s working, because the spot where the nurse drew blood – I asked for the back of my hand & she opted instead for the crease of my wrist? – has spread into a bruise the size of my hand. Really attractive. But hey – they wanted thin blood? I got thin blood.
And really? I’m uncomfortable, I look like I’m 5 months pregnant and I have no complaints. The terror is easing, what with the take-over-my-life symptoms & all. I’m starting to think in terms of ‘when’ not ‘if’. And I’m loving it.
For so long during this early pregnancy, it has felt as if I’ve been pregnant for 6 months. I mean, enough already, can’t I be in my 3rd trimester by now? And really, it makes sense. I’ve been here before. Done this before. Can’t I just skip ahead to where the scenery is new, and the view ever-changing?
And I’m here. 10 weeks+. Shoot. Never been here before. It looks different. It feels different. Feels like it might end up in a different place. And that’s a good thing. An amazing thing. 10 weeks feels about right. Not out of danger, but out of my realm of personal terror. I’ve moved away from the cliff edge, and get to enjoy a bit of walking along a mountain meadow for a while. I like it. I like it a lot. Don’t know that my current contentment was worth the agony to get here, all the times I fell off that fucking cliff’s edge, but the view is nice, and I’m going to enjoy it as long as I can.
The giddy might not be back yet, but the quietly happy is making an appearance and I intend to ask if it’ll stick around for a while. I sure do like its company.
S…I got a Lovenox lump my last go around (that will teach me to inject without actually pulling down my pants!). It took more than a month for the thing to go away…
Never been here before. It looks different. It feels different. Feels like it might end up in a different place.
xo
Mo
Quietly happy is a good thing! Here’s to new horizons! And a new book? Yay!
I have a few lovenox lumps too… I’ve noticed over time that its limited to certain areas and in those areas i will always get bruisy lumps. Its taken trial and error to figure it out but as you expand you’ll be running out of spots and so then your choices get limited
About the heartburn- SUCKS!!!!! I found drinking milk really helped, at least it helped me.
Glad to see you out of your zone of terror. Here’s to you returning to the baby bargain browsing, nursery planning joy you experienced when you first got the BFP!
My comments don’t seem to be working lately….. hmm, I will try again, I basically said I can’t wait for you now that you are more secure and less afraid, to go back to your baby bargain, nursery planning days when you first got the BFP!
Also, with heartburn, I noticed drinking a glass of milk helped me.
AND- yes Lovenox bruising SUCKS. I’ve found one side of my body handles lovenox better than the others. I stayed away from the “bad” side until my stomach expanded to a point where I had fewer spots to choose from to inject. Sorry for the brusing though
My comments don’t seem to be working lately….. hmm, I will try again, I basically said I can’t wait for you now that you are more secure and less afraid, to go back to your baby bargain, nursery planning days when you first got the BFP!
Also, with heartburn, I noticed drinking a glass of milk helped me.
AND- yes Lovenox bruising SUCKS. I’ve found one side of my body handles lovenox better than the others. I stayed away from the “bad” side until my stomach expanded to a point where I had fewer spots to choose from to inject.
Love the end of your personal terror. Praise the god/goddess/all-that-is.
And
I am sending big love,
Kate
Ah, heartburn. After my knee surgery many moons ago (ok, like 4 years ago), I was on some kick ass painkillers. About 4 days in, I had this horrendous pain in my chest. It got so bad the next night that I went to the ER because, you know, surgery and blod clot warnings, and it hurt SO bad I was in tears. Turned out to be gastroesophogal reflux. Super intense heartburn. I doubt it’ll get that bad for you…but just lettin’ you know. It can suck, suck, suck. Keep some Tums around.
Exciting that you’re in such good territory, new though it may be! And you’ll be in your 2nd trimester before you know it! Woohoo!!
Glad to hear things are going well! When’s the next big appointment? NT scan time? It’s such a huge relief to make it past the timepoint of the latest loss.
F-ing giddy for you! Yes – nausea, heartburn, acid puke, inability to walk, sleep, screw, shop – all to look forward to – but you know what – it is worth every moment of misery! Sprog is growing safe and big inside of you!!!!
Looking forward to your u/s tomorrow!
Yup heartburn definitely. Quite early for it but very common and at least there are drugs out there you can use to make it go away. In fact the digestive system goes kaput in pregnancy – belching, farting, heartburn, constipation, indigestion, nausea – the whole lot sometimes all at once but worth it.
I had my bouts with heartburn, even though I didn’t get the bad nausea. For some reason it got better in the 2nd trimester and can eat most anything except my favorite dish at the local mexican place (Camarones a la diabla). So glad that you have made 10+ weeks and that the hopes are kicking in full force. I’m also so excited about your progress on the book too. You deserve all the best and I love cheering you on.
Yay for WHEN!