This was a very exciting day for me, mostly because we’re forgoing the traditional ‘how to have a baby’ childbirth class in favor of Hypnobabies coursework, so this was my one chance to be around other preggos and ask questions of an ‘instructor’.  I think the last time I saw a hospital nursery was when my little br0ther was born 35-odd years ago.  I’ve only ever seen labor/delivery rooms on tv.  I figured my ideas might be a little out of date.

Yep.

I knew that I liked this hospital – it’s where Grandpa Endocrinologist has his offices, and it’s where I go every few weeks for another anatomy ultrasound.  Everyone’s very pleasant, and it’s not as scary as some NYC hospitals can be. But still – it’s NYC.  Highest C-section rate anywhere outside of Brazil.  So I had a load of questions to ask.

The tours require no registration, you just show up and one of the lactation consultants gives everyone the schpiel.  Poor woman.  She kept trying to make jokes that were falling on deaf ears and then making jokes about what a bad audience we were.  Finally, another woman there (the only one besides me who wasn’t 20,) said, “Miss, it’s 180*, we’re all 8 or 9 months pregnant, we’re missing our normal dinnertime for this, and we’ve been at work all day.  There’s nothing in this world funny enough to make me laugh right now.”  She got a round of applause and a hearty laugh from everyone there.

But anyway.  Beth Israel is in the process of earning its ‘baby friendly’ designation from UNICEF which mostly involves being extremely pro-breastfeeding and pro-mom/baby bonding.  They’d rather have baby & mom skin to skin than stick the kid in a warmer.  They do not provide pacifiers or sugar water or formula without a medical need.  They have lactation consultants running classes & available for consultation 7 days a week, and they check up with moms a week or so after you leave the hospital – plus you always have access to the consultants if you’re having a hard time.

Which is all very cool.

Although the ward was pretty full, we got to see a semi-private (standard) room, whose crowdedness prompted the Boy  to immediately say, “I’ll pay money for a private room.  We’re definitely going for a private room.”  And there are two levels of private rooms – one is actually called the “super-deluxe” room, with a fridge and a private toilet/shower and a bed for the Boy.  Some of the private rooms don’t actually have private toilets, though, which sort of offends me.  Seems like that’s a place you want immediate access to, 24/7 post-partum?  But there aren’t enough of either to reserve them, you just have to hope that when you go into labor, they’ve had an opening.  Hmmmm.

Other things?  They will allow two ‘birthing companions’ into labor/delivery with you and one can come into a c-section operating room with you.  However, if you use a doula who’s gone through B.I.’s additional training, she can also accompany you into the operating room.  They also host a ‘meet & greet’ for doulas a couple of times a month where you can meet a dozen or so in one place – which is a nice idea, I think.  But whether or not we go that route – yeah, B.I. is pretty into the whole doula-thing,  and they think a natural birth is preferable and should be encouraged.

Which I find encouraging.

We got to walk through all the security measures they take around the babies – double bracelets, lock-down around the elevators/stairs, footprints/fingerprints that get verified all the time.  She asked us all to make a commitment to stop watching made-for-tv baby shows, birthing dramas, etc.  She gave us her email address and very sincerely told us to ask any questions at any time.

On a discouraging note – the only newb0rn in the nursery when we filed by was gigantic.  We’re talking double digits.  He looked like a 3-month-old, honestly.  Scared me into preforming some kegels right there & then.  Dear lord that was a big baby.  Hey Thor!  Listen up!  Momma wants you to be big & healthy, but not TOO big, you hear me?  None of this 14# at birth shit.  Yikes.

On a somewhat scary note, For a few minutes, I honestly thought I was going to be heading right back to B.I. for an exam last night.  It’s beyond hot right now, and humid, and the subways weren’t running on time last night between work & the hospital, which meant standing on a 110* platform for 20 minutes at a time.  And elevators were down at the Lexington Ave. stop, which meant climbing, like, 5 flights of stairs, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was pretty exhausted and really damned hot.

And apparently dehydrated.  Because no sooner had we left the hospital than I started getting more insistent BH contractions than I’ve experienced to date.  These ones almost hurt they were so intense.  And coming way too close together.  I guzzled a liter of ice water from a drug store, and bought another to hold to the veins in my throat/temples on the way home, and once home, I took a cool shower, then laid down and had the Boy turn on the a/c and everything did calm down.  But I felt like it was too close a thing.  I think I have decided to make next week my last week of work – I’m just not cutting it.  I slept for almost 12 hours this morning, and I could fall back asleep right now if I had the opportunity.

The sad thing about this upcoming vacation is that I’m not as psyched about seeing Italy as I am about sleeping in Italy.  My priorities at the moment revolve around getting more sleep.  And staying cool.  And hydrated.

But Thor didn’t seem put out by my raised body temp.  He was kicking and doing flips, performing even when the Boy came over for the show.  He’s been a little quieter this morning, but that’s typical.  I will admit to being more than a little interested in hearing the latest guess on his size at our U/S appointment on Monday.

(Please, Thor.  Don’t make me the one that everyone gasps in pity for at their maternity tour!)