Grrrr.
Well, because the unmitigated happy couldn’t possibly last, there’s now drama with the Boy’s daughters. Specifically his middle daughter, who’s gone on the attack about our plans to move north in a year or so.
She is practically hysterical.
The Boy is upset. And feeling guilty.
I am frustrated.
Mostly because the Boy has nothing to feel guilty about. This is a 25-year-old young woman we’re talking about. One who’s been living in the city with her boyfriend all summer and who has come over for dinner exactly once, despite numerous invitations. This is the young woman whose new, non-housetrained puppy the Boy cared for for over 2 weeks without much acknowledgment from her of the enormous favor he was doing her. This is the young woman who rants that her father is ‘shutting her out of his life”?
I am trying to be fair about this – lots of changes, pregnant stepmother, new house in a city she has no intention of ever living, and apparently her mother is also talking seriously about leaving the city (honestly, it’s too damned expensive to live here if you’re not working in Manhattan and making a fortune) so I GET that she’s feeling insecure and like everything familiar is shifting.
But she’s taking it out on someone who shouldn’t get attacked like this, and I find it irritating to be in the position of wanting to jump in to his defense, but knowing that would make things SO much worse. Not something he wants, and certainly not what I want to do to him.
So I have to sit back and watch this rather nasty attack have its way with him, watch all his giddy happiness over the house turn to worry and possibly regret.
And I hate that.
Ewwwww, grrr indeed! When I was 25 my parents told me that they were quitting their jobs and going to travel the US volunteering around the country for Catholic charities. They were going to rent out their house. They asked what I thought about that. I told them that it was THEIR life. I had no say in the matter, nor did I think that I should. More power to them. You stepdaughter should realize that just like she is free to make changes in her life, so are her parents (and step parents)! Grrr to her for making her Dad feel guilty. I didn’t realize it was a parent’s job keep a convenient house at the ready for grown women who want to stop by!
I am so sorry! That sucks.
Grrrr. I hate manipulative behavior. Not cool from an adult woman of 25. Grrrrr, indeed. I’m sorry the Boy gets upset by this. Grrrrr.
That pisses me off that an adult can act so much like a spoiled rotten child and still get away with it. Poor you! Not what you need to be dealing with at 33 weeks pregnant
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Hey there. Just wanted to let you know that while you are half way around the world, enjoying Italy, we will be next door enjoying Greece and Cypress. Not that it makes seeing you guys much easier, but at least we will be closer than NV-NY. We will be in Greece from the 10th-17th and Cypress 17-24. For what it’s worth. Love ya.—-Chip
Wow, I have been mostly lurking these days but look how much has happened in just a few days!! I love the description of your dream house – hope everything works out for that (drooling with jealously over the library).
I loved Italy! IMHO the pasta was great but secundo dishes (meat) NOT so much. Pretty much everywhere. I discovered cappuchino – but I’m guessing you won’t be partaking of those (but if you do they are fab!) Gelato is amazing and you should definately have at least one per day.
Rome was fun, I did go to the catacombs and really liked it. You could probably go one one of those quicky bus tours to see all the Big Sites so you don’t have to hike all over, I’m into church organs so I went to all the big cathedrals. Italy was a feast for the eyes – everything was beautiful to look at (and expensive!). Excited for you – have a great time and try not to dwell on the grumpy actions of a hormonal young girl!
Grrr is putting it mildly. That is a girl who still has a whole heap of growing up to do. I know it is tough to deal with a parent moving on past a divorce and moving house away from a childhood home (I’m not even sure that applies here) but still you suck it up and be happy for them. Sorry she is being so spoilt.
Ugh. Super frustrating. She’s 25, not 12. He shouldn’t feel at all guilty about,umm, I don’t know, wanting to live his own life? It isn’t as if you’re moving to freakin’ Zimbabwe. It’s like 4 hours away? Very, very, very immature. I feel bad for you and the Boy both. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it will pass quickly or that the both of you will ignore it well.
Divorce guilt really takes it’s toll on parents, eh? Any chance of a family member giving her a reality check? Sisters? Grandma? Yeesh.
gah. i’m actually surprised that you’ve been able to keep silent about this and not rip her head off. she’s being a petulant baby. and while i know you’ve wanted to move out of the nabe and into the country for a long while, it’s not impossible that had she actually nurtured a good relationship with you and the boy you’d want to be here more. she has visited you once, and you should tell her that.
She is twenty-five years old. Period. Really? Sigh. It must be so difficult to be in your situation where you can’t really say anything. . . but its your hubby that you love being berated . . . I’m so sorry. . . but close your eyes and think about your library. . . far. . . far . . away from her.
I just stumbled upon your blog and I wanted to say I am frustrated for you. This should be a non stressful time in your life…pregnancy after loss(multiple losses)and moving are stress enough. I hope that things settle with your hubby and his child and that you can gracefully wash your hands of all the nonsense. Seriously, it sounds like the ‘daughter’ knows how to manipulate daddy very well.
Geez – 25 is a bit old to be acting like that. Most of my friends were married already with families of their own at 25. Me – I was 3,000 miles away living in California and not a care in the world about what my divorced parents were doing with their new lives. It’s time she stopped acting like a 10-year old. Honestly, my step kids are 12 and 14 and couldn’t be happier about our new twins and they live with their mom. No fits, no animosity – just genuine happiness. I’d expect more from a 25-y/o. Sorry you have to deal with this. It sucks.