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Looking forward to you

Hello Little One.  Little Long-Anticipated One.

I can’t wait to meet you.  None of us can.  Your daddy is excited and usually pats you these days even before he says hello to me.  Nellie-the-wonder-whippet knows something’s up, and seems awfully interested in your crazy movements these last few days – she’s taken to trying to lie down on top of you: a trend we’re hoping doesn’t continue after you’re born.  Your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and sisters are so looking forward to meeting you that every time we call them, we can barely say hello before they demand, “Is he here yet?  Is the baby here?”

But none of them are as excited as I am, I think.  None of them can be.  You’re my first, my only, the child of my heart, and I have loved you forever.  I will love you forever.

And yet I’ve never seen your face.

I don’t know what color your hair is – or if you even HAVE hair. What color are your eyes?  Are you a happy baby or a cranky one?  Will you love to be held, or will you fuss until we figure out what makes you tick?  Will you love to read as much as your father and I do, or will you be more interested in computers.  Or Nascar.  Or growing orchids?  Or playing football?  Or fishing?  I want to know the answers to these questions, but more than that, I want to learn those answers.  I want all the time in the world to learn all I can about you.

You’re due to make your first appearance in the world in less than a week, now.  September 18 is the most eagerly anticipated day in my whole life.  Nothing that has ever happened to me previously can compare with how excited I am to meet you, to touch your hands and feet and smell the top of your head, and tickle you, and stare at you.  Talk to you.  Listen to you.  I’ve been completely unproductive this week, because all I can think about is that you’ll be here, soon.  You’ll be here, in my arms, where you belong.

So I sit and daydream and stare at the walls, wishing you were already here, trying to rest, since everyone tells me you won’t give us any peace for the first few weeks.  Looking forward to peacelessness.  Looking forward to sleeplessness.

Looking forward to you.

So very much looking forward to you that there’s hardly any room in my brain right now for anything else.  Dinner?  Yeah, whatever.  Conversation?  Is it going to be a conversation about you?  Because otherwise, I really can’t be bothered.

(Please hurry, Little One.  Mama’s impatient.  Wants to meet you.  Wants to meet you now.  Please hurry.)

12 comments to Looking forward to you

  • Em

    Great post, Susan. Thanks for sharing. That sums up my feelings to a tee. Beautiful…

  • Pie

    Such a lovely post. I’m excited to read about/meet him too!

  • Lovely. I hope you will continue a tradition of writing to your little one. One day he will read all of this and know how much he was wanted and loved even before he even was. So happy for you Susan. So grateful to have been along for the ride. Can’t wait for your little boy. It’s weird that I really mean this since I have never met you- but I’m anticipating Thor’s arrival more than some of my IRL peeps- maybe because . .. well I guess its obvious why.

  • Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.

  • Lovely. I’m so excited for you.

  • I am sitting here just grinning. What a profound and heart warming post. You are almost there. Sending so much love and care eastward for a healthy and happy delivery.

  • Beautiful post. It inspired me to stop what I was doing and go sniff the top of my sleeping miracle’s head. Yup, smells like a miracle to me. 😀

  • Cat

    What a wonderful note to Henry. He’s one lucky little boy!

  • Karen

    Dear Susan,
    As so often before, you express so well feelings that are welled up inside me. My son is now 7 months old, and you brought me right back to those last days of pregnancy and first days of realizing he was actually here. I am still amazed. I still feel exactly what you wrote. You brought tears to my eyes. I have been lurking for a while and I am sorry that I don’t comment very often. I am so happy for you and so happy for your son that he has such an amazing mother waiting for him with such love. My very best wishes for all to come. Karen

  • Michele

    What a beautiful post. Your blog has become the one I check first thing in the morning to see if Thor has made an appearance. I can’t wait to see pictures of him.

  • I felt the same way about the bub. So well put. And you know what? That feeling doesn’t go away. It just gets bigger. And stronger. And wonderfuller. Can’t wait for your little guy to come out and meet everyone who loves him.