Small Things 1-11-14
I have found myself reluctant to come here, for a couple of months now, and I think it’s likely that I need to change my blog somewhat. To focus much more on boring-old-me and much less on adorable Hen.
You see, he’s of an age where privacy is getting more and more important to him. And while I’ve always tried to be respectful of his physical person–I don’t, for example, post (or really take) unclothed photos of him–& while I would never try to embarrass him, I have to be aware that some of the things I detail about his day-to-day life might be too personal for a boy whose 12-year-old-obnoxious friends will someday be able to hunt this down on the never-dying internet.
And while up to this point, I’ve felt just fine about talking about him in MY life, as his presence relates to MINE, (and because, seriously, if a kid of mine gets his nose out of joint as a teenager because poop was mentioned in a post I wrote when he was three months old, well, he’s going to have WAY BIGGER problems than the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who reads it knows now that he’s merely human!) but these days I’m feeling less comfortable in general with putting him out there when he’s not really able to consent or understand.
And, granted, this blog is probably reaching about 4 people outside of family these days. Happy, healthy child-rearing doesn’t even come close to the compelling reading that life-draining TTC stories make! But there it is. I’m feeling more and more like they’re not really my stories to share anymore. That since my child is old enough to ask for privacy in the bathroom, and even sometimes when he’s playing alone, that now that he has interests & friendships I am not a part of, that perhaps telling the world about the intimacies of his life at home is just not entirely ok anymore.
Which means I can shut the blog down entirely which I’m oddly loathe to do. This space saved me in more than one way. I can honestly say that the community I found here made me much easier with the non-conventional story of Hen’s beginnings, and I am-and-will-always-be deeply, intensely grateful for that.
I might move this away from this being so devotedly a Sprog-Blog though, and towards more of a Mom/Wife/Writer/Gardener/Cook/Craftsperson blog, which, honestly, I’m pretty sure the world has enough of. Or I can try to specialize a bit more. (Either that or generalize a bit more.) Do I go more for passing along relevant articles written by others, mostly, that speak to me; or do I try to craft beautiful, thoughtful essays about trying to craft a beautiful, thoughtful life? I’m not really sure what makes the most sense right now in my life.
I guess I’m really not sure what function this blog serves–except as a way to update important people in our lives on Henry’s day-to-day life. And, as detailed above, I’m getting less comfy doing that on a public forum.
And making it be more about me might be challenging–and way less compelling. Because really, my life is happily, contentedly dull on the surface. Incredibly rewarding for me, but dull nevertheless. I cook, I clean, I child-mind, I write, I garden, I cook, I clean, I child-mind, I write, I garden… And the deep need I had for this space when my life was shit simply doesn’t exist anymore.
But I can’t seem to bear the thought of closing it down entirely. So.
If I change blogs, you all will of course be welcome to read all about the exciting life of a SAHWriterMom, with an emphasis on the ‘mom’. Henry’ll show up, but it will be general rather than specific, and the photos–always sparse–will become pretty non-existent. I’ll talk more about meal planning, gardening, preserving, trying to bring us more in touch with local, homegrown food. I’ll talk about gardening until you’re ready to scream. I’ll probably talk more about crafts, and about trying to find a new exercise regime since toddler-chasing just isn’t cutting it anymore.
I’m certainly going to be taking a bit of time off to think about what I want to change about this space–and I’d love to hear from you all. How you’ve managed similar transitions in your blogging life, how others you’ve read have handled them, and most importantly what you think–in a general way, of course!–of the issue of children’s privacy as chipped away at by their too-loving parents…