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Days of Grace 12-5-10

1.  Snow!  Only a few flakes, drifting down in the parking lot, but real live honest-to-goodness snow!

2.  The dog has decided that she likes the library ( with the gas stove!) at least as much as she likes the QE2.

3.  Baby wipes kept close to the gas stove = warm baby wipes.  He doesn’t fuss over the cold ones, but I rather like the warm ones, as I think they work a bit better on, er, messy butts.

4.  Left Fist still holds the place of honor in his affections.  “Power to the Babies!”

5.  Cinnamon eggnog.  Seriously.  About as decadently delicious as it gets, and the last thing I should be slurping, but hey – next time I’m up here in the land of eggnog, it’ll be 2011, & no nog to be found anywhere, I’m sure.  This’ll have to last me til next year.

Days of Grace 11-19-10

1.  New Hampshire, here we come!!!

2.  Jem posted a link to this blog, and I’m re-posting it here just to share the joy.  Oh my freaking lord, this woman is funny!

3.  I’m feeling oddly motivated, this week before Thanksgiving, to find my pre-pregnancy body again.  No, that’s simplifying.  I’ve got my prepregnancy body back, more or less.  But I want my pre-IVF body back.  I want my pre-IF body back.  I want to feel strong and know my body’s up for whatever goofy physical test I want to put it to.

(That, and I want to look hot in a pair of jeans again, and hey – I’m 41.  I need to get GOING on this project if I ever want to see success, because really, who are we kidding?  41 + jeans hardly ever = Hot.)

But I’m feeling motivated to forgo the Nightly Ritual of the Newman-Os.  Feeling like drinking water instead of my old favorite, whole milk.  Feeling like watching my caloric intake might be almost as good an idea as getting my ass moving again.

Hmmph.  Feels kinda good to be ready to diet & take care of myself for no reason other than that it’s a good thing to take care of myself.  I could learn to like this feeling.

4.  Baby sleeping peacefully at my side is almost as good a feeling as watching him smile.

5.  I’m following Aisha‘s good example and writing longhand these days because A) it’s something I do occasionally, and it always jump starts my writing for a few days until the thrill wears off & the hand cramps start in.  B) It’s a whole lot easier to pick up a pen than to pick up a computer when the other hand is supporting a baby head while he eats.  C) Writing by hand allows for sketching & drawing by hand, which I want to do more of, which is another of those goals I keep never getting around to.  So I bought myself a new favorite-gridded-notebook-from-B&N yesterday and I’m off!

And then there’s the grief…

Sometimes really fucking shitty things happen to the best people.  After 7 weeks of scares and reliefs, including a heartbeat heard this week, Mo‘s pregnancy is over and she’s in surgery today.  Please go let her know you’re thinking of her.

God, this sucks.

Baby Breathtarian

So today was the little man’s first truly challenging day.  He was cranky all day long.  Wanted the boob, even when he’d been eating for an hour, he’d get cranky when I tried to pull him away.  Which worried me.  He slept so well last night that I figure he’s hungrier during the day, since that’s at least one feeding he slept through last night, but however good my supply is, it cannot be good enough to let him eat 4 hours in a row.

Being unwilling to give up my sleep if it’s not absolutely necessary, I went out & bought myself some fenugreek capsules today.  Let the maple-syrup fest begin! Here’s hoping it actually boosts my supply, because really, today we did nothing but sitting around and whining (him), crying (both of us) and eating (him again.)

I was planning on trying to get onto a pumping schedule today, but he was on & off the boob all day, and I wasn’t willing to cut into his (possibly) diminished supply at all, especially since my last pumped bottle went totally to waste.

So maybe tomorrow will be the first day of Pumpapalooza. Anyone come up with a good pumping schedule/regimen to use while feeding on demand?

It’s rather a shame that breasts don’t come with ounces-markers on the side, so I could have some idea how much milk he’s actually taking in.  My rational mind knows he’s getting plenty of food, based on the number & weight of wet diapers he produces throughout the day – not to mention these amazing growth spurts – but since my boobs never feel ‘engorged’ & only slightly different before/after a feeding, I’m just taking it on faith that he’s actually drawing sustenance from me and not from, say, the air.

But of course, I do have evidence that he’d well-fed.  I had to go through his clothes this morning and remove all the Newborn & 0-3 month outfits.  Totally outgrown.  He can still wear some of the 3 month clothes, if I insist.  But really, he does better in 3-6 month or 6 month – especially when it’s a one-piece.  This kid has a seriously long torso.

And he’s outgrowing his moses basket – only a few inches left, and all of a sudden he can’t stretch out in there anymore, and I’m really not sure what we’ll do next for a sleeping space on the parlor floor/living area.  Put him in a swing?  Buy a playpen?  (Do they even still make playpens?) His bassinet is also shrinking, which is weird since he was practically lost in that his first week at home.  I suppose I should start trying to transition him into his crib, but then what am I going to use for a changing table?

I know.  Everyone should have such troubles with a new baby.

And at the moment, he’s sleeping peacefully in his bouncy chair.  And it’s quiet in here, save for the sound of my frantic typing.  I’m going to try to get in a bit of cross-stitch, and then do a bit of writing before bed.

Even with a fussy baby, my life is so damned good right now.

Days of Grace 10-1-10

1.  A rather nicely nearly symmetrical date for today.  Which always turns me on.

2.  Yesterday stayed cool and overcast.  Which was good, since I had a bunch of errands & still got overwarm.  (It’s hard WORK carrying a baby around!)

3.  I’ve started trying to pump, and I don’t hate it as much as I’d secretly been dreading.  While I desperately want the freedom to offer Henry a bottle instead of a boob when we’re out on the town, I really dislike – a lot – the whole milking-machine concept.  But it wasn’t too bad.  Not fun.  Not like feeding him directly and getting all distracted by his dimples and smiles, but not too bad.

4.  My ‘itzbeen’ timer.  Such a yuppie thing, but so damned helpful for my poor sleep-deprived brain!  I love this thing & am going to start giving it as a shower gift.  Love.  It.

5.  Going to Lowe’s to buy something for my folks and I’ll be going along in order to pick up paint swathes!  For the house!  The house we own as of yesterday!

Days of Grace 9-20-10

1.  This is me being grateful for everything over the last three days.  Since I haven’t had more than three hours of sleep or so in the last 72 hours, we’re just going to run all these together into a single, slightly doped up day.

My experience with hospital policy here at BI may have sucked rocks, but the people who work here?  Fantastically nice, and helpful, and sweet, and generally making this as pleasant as a hospital stay could possibly be.  Love the staff here.  Love them.

2.  The Boy has been fantastically supportive and wonderful and everything I could hope for in a “my Love is a daddy, now” kind of way.  Damn, I’m lucky.  I get to be married to the most wonderful, best-friendish, romantic lover ever, PLUS he’s a give-it-his-all daddy.  Does it GET any better than this?

3.  Henry is just a joy.  He doesn’t like having a dirty diaper, but unless he’s physically uncomfortable, he’s a solemn little man who likes touching things with his long fingers and especially likes to be cuddled.  He’s also nursing like a pro., allowing me to forgo any worries I might have had on that score.

4.  My family and Sam’s family have been so supportive, so wonderful throughout this, and continue to be so.  I feel fortunate on my son’s behalf that he’s going to get to grow up surrounded by love from all his relations.

5.  I got a few hours of contiguous sleep this morning/afternoon.  And I got to take a shower instead of a useless sponge bath.  And the pain meds+ walking around seems to be doing what it’s supposed to be doing – I feel human, and the thought of going home tomorrow is a good thing, and not something to dread.


The Boy here.  We can’t get online at the hospital yet, so I’m giving the news.  Baby Henry was born late Saturday night via c-section.  He and Momma are doing great.  He came in at 8 lbs, 2 oz, and couldn’t be more beautiful.  Yes, there is a Santa Claus.

Pictures soon.

No baby yet.  Doctor appointments this morning keeping me away from home, and a family tragedy that has me unable to think or breathe or even really function at all.  I’m fine, the Boy is fine, but I can’t be with my family right now and it’s killing me.

I’ll update when I can, as I can.  And if you’re the praying type, please, offer up some thoughts of peace and comfort for my family during this time.

Days of Grace 9-8-10

1. Baby Thor is big, but not gigantic – 7.5#.  His hat size is gigantic, but the rest of him is catching up, so he’s not going to look like a mushroom or anything.  And everything else looks healthy.  Which is good. Also, because morning is not his most active time, he had to be ‘buzzed’ during the NST, which he apparently hates.  Because after they buzzed him to get him to move, some construction workers started using power tools in the next room – power tools which made a buzzing sort of noise through the walls.  Henry heard this, and started jumping all over the place.  OMG – my son heard something and responded to it.  Better yet?  When I started rubbing my belly to calm him down, it seemed to calm him down.  I want to meet this child ‘o mine!

2.  Despite epic train issues this morning, I was able to get to both doctors’ appointments on time, and they were able to see me (mostly) on time.  And complete my FMLA paperwork.  And have an actual OB exam (still high & closed, damnitall).  Best of all?  It’s 11:30 and I’m home.  Whew.  Time for a nap.

3.  Although I’m cranky because I’m pretty miserable and this is starting to feel like the pregnancy that will never end, I’m a bit relieved that it doesn’t look like Henry’s going to make his premier appearance in the next couple of days.  Rosh Hoshannah, and even my doc is shutting down his office for a couple of days – shoot, the hospital I’m going to delivering in has a kosher cafeteria and Sabbath elevators & mezuzahs at every doorway, so I’m thinking that RH would be kind of a bad time to be admitted.  So, if I’m not going to be able to have this baby a week early, this is a good week to be at home and not in an echoingly empty hospital.  I guess.

Yes, I know I’m really stretching it here…

4.  My dog greeted me by collecting one of my shoes, which is normal for her – she likes to take our shoes downstairs as soon as we come home.  But since the cleaning lady is here, working downstairs, Nellie just brought the shoe up onto the couch with her and is lying on top of it.  Such a good dog!

5.  Whether or not my doc can feel it, I’m definitely feeling a difference in how little Henry is riding.  MUCH more comfortably, thank you very much.  I’ve actually had an appetite for the last few days, which is a nice change, and I haven’t had the immediate heartburn reaction that’s accompanied every meal for the last 6 months.  Wow – so THIS is how it feels to have a normal digestive system?  I’d almost forgotten.

Days of Grace 8-31-10

1.  The Boy & Middle SD are leaving in about an hour for Boston.  Grateful that I don’t feel so much as a twinge of ‘OMG, I’m going to have this baby today.”  He should be home by 7 or 8.  All will be well.

2.  Dinner last night was a success.  The girls all enjoyed their monstrous-big lobsters, I didn’t end up with heartburn, and the Boy is busy making plans for cooking up a nice lobster bisque with the shells.

3.  The girls asked what they could buy for Thor.  I told them we’ve got pretty much everything we need, but that I’d love him to have a copy of each of their favorite books.  This prompted much discussion about baby books, baby games, “educational” video games, etc.; which morphed into a discussion of all the things they were going to do with him once he was a bit older – games to play, books to read, mischief to get into.  I am more relieved than I can say, to hear them – especially the oldest two – talking about things they’re going to do with their brother.  This might just work out ok.  It just might.

4.  A long quiet day planned, wherein I do almost nothing at all.  My foot and hand both hurt – fucking pregnancy-related carpal tunnel/edema/don’t-care-what-it’s-called-just-want-it-to-stop-hurting nonsense.  My embroidery will be happy to see me.  As will the bakery around the corner (it’s coffee day, but my coffee store is closed for a week-long vacation – damn them!)  All in all, it’ll be a nice day and I’m looking forward to it.

5.  Along with number 4 comes #5.  I downloaded instructions/pattern for making this birth announcement.  Not entirely sure who will merit an actual announcement instead of an email, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out along the way.  And what better way to encourage Henry to show up than to begin a long, involved project that I simply MUST finish before his arrival?