Sorry to anyone who was anxious.  A late night at work and a bout of snoring once I got home.  But all is pretty much well.

My new endocrinologist is a doll.  He’s about 80, behaves like a favorite grandfather, and since his daughter lives in Brooklyn, I’m ok in his book.  Or so he says.  We were actually chatting up a storm.  (He’s way too friendly to be a doctor.  Honestly, NYC doctors are among the nicest guys I’ve ever met.  Doctors aren’t this pleasant in the southwest.  What’s up with that?)

Anyway, my thyroid gland is enlarged, but it happens in pregnancy, so he’s not too worried.  We ran more bloodwork, the results from which won’t be back before next week, but he advised me to take an extra prednisone during the procedures for its immune suppressant properties, and assured me I’d be fine.  My pulserate was high (90bpm), but I told him it was because I was in a doctor’s office.  He checked again in a few minutes after we’d been talking about chickens and the Grand Canyon and it was lower (80bpm) so he laughed and told me not to worry so much.

(BTW, I’m sensing a doctor’s advice theme here, since it’s the second time I’ve heard that advice from a fatherly-type doctor in the last few months) which is sort of sucky because I’m so much better than I used to be.  Can’t I get some credit for that?  If they’d known me in full-on worry mode, they’d've probably checked me into an institution for the dangerously anxious.

Anyway, my blood pressure is still great, so he told me that unless I started presenting some symptoms other than a highish heartrate, they’d probably just monitor me (Yay! More blood work appointments!) and not try to medicate me with no cause (Yay!  MIght still be able to breastfeed safely!)  He said there was every chance that this would resolve on its own in another 6 weeks or so, and I decided that’s what I’m going to hope for.

It was very reassuring.  And I don’t have to dread going back there, because he’s a nice guy.  And I’m fairly convinced I’m not going to die next week or lose Sprog.

Whew.  Now if I could just be allowed a few days with nothing to fret about, I’d be oh-so-grateful.

Of course, I’m back to the Realm of Pain today.  So much for that brilliant idea…

1.  Only one more day before our LOTR-thon!  For the non-geek set, this means the Boy & I & a couple of dear fellow geeks are going to sit down in front of the tv with rabbit stew, bread, mushrooms, & other good hobbity things to eat, and watch all three Lord Of the Rings movies in one sitting.  The Director’s extended cuts, mind you, so we’re going to be there for nigh onto 12 hours.  Yes, we are weird enough that this sounds like fun.  If we get into full-on geek mode, we’ll have a computer playing it in the bathroom as well so that necessary hygiene breaks will not interfere with the full experience.

2.  I found another really nice, personable doctor in NYC.  What IS IT with doctors here?  Are they all nice fellows?  Seriously.  My shiny new endocrinologist is a doll.  A wizened though still, like 6′5″ 80-year-old doll who thinks it’s hilarious that my heart rate goes nuts in a doctor’s office.  ”I’m so flattered!”  he said, trying to make me laugh.  If he were 40 years younger, it’d probably be true…  Seriously nice guy.

3.  No bile-gushingly heartburn episodes yesterday.  Nor any bleeding, neither.    I could get used to not feeling like warmed over death…

4.  Snow.  Teeny bits of snow that will probably turn to rain.  Certainly not the sort of weather that a whippet wants to go for a morning walk in.  Not that I’m feeling lazy today or anything…

5.  Tomorrow might be a day to make waffles before our LOTR guests arrive, and I’m looking forward to the taste of maple syrup already.  Just sayin’.

Sprogs are fine.  Sprog A is plugging along, wiggling and measuring a few days ahead of schedule.  Sprog B is still holding still, still measuring a week behind Sprog A.

And I have an appointment for this morning with an endocrinologist.  Yesterday’s OB appointment was delayed for about an hour while the doctor ran – literally – to catch an emergency delivery.  The woman showed up to L&D fully dilated.  We should all have labors that only last an hour.  Anyway, all of us – patients & stafff were doing everything but playing word games to pass the time, and I told the nurse I was having a hard time narrowing down which endocrinologist to call, blah blah blah.  So she got on her computer, I got on my iPod, and we narrowed it down to docs she knew who would take my insurance.

And she apparently gave me their personal office numbers, because when I called the first guy, he answered, “Hello?”  Me:  ”Oh, sorry, I was looking for Dr. B.”  ”That’s me.  What’s up?”  I gave him my sob story, about how my OB wants me to see someone stat because of the CVS next week, and he told me he no longer saw patients, but wanted to hear my numbers anyway.  Because my T3 & T4 numbers are elevated on top of my depressed TSH numbers, he agreed that I needed to be seen right away and that he’d make sure someone in his practice saw me immediately.  So he gave me a few numbers, and said he’d go over to the first one’s office to encourage his receptionist to make room for me in tomorrow’s schedule.

Wow.  It makes a difference to be able to wave names around – not to mention having the guy’s private number.

So I got in for an appointment at 11:30 this morning; I rearranged my work schedule so that I’ll work late tonight, and therefore not miss quite so many hours of work, and – hopefully – we can get this under control so that I can go back to worrying about productive things like the nasty-ass taste of the liquid B12 I’m taking.  Blech.

Since this most definitely is an immune thingy, and since I lost my last pregnancy during the week I came off of immune suppressants, it does make me wonder if this might have been behind that loss, since we never got a clear abnormal-genetic reason for it.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  Relieved to possibly have a reason?  Pissed off if my doctor never ordered thryoid-function tests as a routine part of my bloodwork?  I know he tested it pre-pregnancy, but since this is something that often only presents during pregnancy, what if it was never done after that BFP?  What if the prednisone pill I’m still popping is all that’s standing between me and another miscarriage?

Nah, never fear that I’ll run out of things to worry about.  More later, after the appointment.

1.  It was nice being at the Realm of Pain for less than a full day.  Also, my April schedule is much improved, though since I suspect the Assistant Manager will be promoted away from the branch this month, I also suspect my new, groovy, Sane Branch schedule is worth much less than the paper it’s printed on.  But for the moment?  I’m rather happy with it.

2.  I learned that my SIL had the same thing I’ve got going on in her 2nd pregnancy.  She had to have the radioactive iodine treatment about 9 months after her daughter was born, but she hasn’t gone hypothyroid yet.  (20 years ago)  So I’m hoping to be just like her.  Actually, I wish that in a lot of ways, she’s awesome, but especially in thyroidic ways…

3.  I really love my OB’s office.  There was an unexpected delay before my appointment yesterday (he had to run – literally – to go catch a baby) so the office staff & remaining patients sat around and chatted.  Such a nice difference from being at the RE’s clinic – oh, and it turned out that everyone in that waiting room was a former patient of my RE’s – where everyone’s too wrapped up in misery to do more than nod.  I heard about the nurse’s Costa Rica vacation, the difficulties of trying to get a ticket to Israel right before Sukkot, and the mumps epidemic going on in Brooklyn right now.

4.  Cereal is still my friend in the morning, and I was able to find the last box of my favorite kind at the health food store yesterday.  Don’t know what I’ll do when this runs out, if they haven’t started stocking it again…

5.  Snow’s almost completely melted (just in time for another storm).  But I was getting tired of slipping on ice – not to mention worried about the whole exploding-manhole-cover possibility of the street outside our house.  Dry weather for a while would be nice.

1.  I got a refund check from the lab that’s been screwing up my insurance for the last 8 months.  Now, granted, I feel like they owe me this money for the grief they’ve caused me, but I don’t think I actually overpaid them, since I haven’t actually sent them any money since this whole thing started.  Don’t know whether to cash the check or not, but it was nice getting a check instead of a bill for a change.

2.  My darling mother sent me a pack of the coziest, softest socks I’ve ever felt, along with a note that warmed my heart.  Can’t wait to have a day off to wear my new fuzzy socks around the house!  THANK YOU, MOM!

3.  There’s a big fan outside our bedroom, pulling up CO so that the neighbors (and we) don’t die of CO poisoning.  So, grateful for, you know, not dying in our sleep, but also that they have already ripped up every bit of rippable street, so there won’t be any more 11:30pm excavating!  Yay for Con Edison!

4.  Glad I have an appointment this morning.  Sucky 24 hours, and I want reassurance that everything’s ok.  Also want to pump his receptionist for a big old list of recommendations, because I don’t feel capable of vetting a new specialist on nothing more than internet recommendations, damnit.

5.  Still sleeping like a champ, despite the recent additions to my stress levels.  Granted, my definitions of ’sleeping like a champ’ have changed somewhat over the last few years.  Used to be, if I didn’t get 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I felt justified in being a complete bitch the next day.  Then I married the Boy, who gets by on the amount of shut-eye he gets in blinking throughout the day.  Then I started fucking with my hormones.  Then I developed the “need to pee every hour and a half after dark” pg symptom.  Then I discovered the joys of open-ended insomnia.  So basically, when I say I slept like a champ, I mean that even though I was up every hour & a half, I got back to sleep almost immediately.  I’ll take it.

See?  I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about feeling calmer.  Zen be damned, I’m back to panic stations.

SuperStarOB called me at work to tell me that my follow-up bloodwork came back & that I definitely have a hyperactive thyroid.

So of course I went to Dr. Google and scared the shit out of myself.  Hey – I’m now at risk of heart failure during a “thyroid storm” and my baby is at risk of stillbirth, miscarriage, or massive retardation!  I probably won’t be able to breastfeed!  My child has a possibility of developing hyperthyroidism too, immediately after birth!  Just because he’s lucky enough to be gestating in my malfunctioning body!  Woohoo!

Just once.  Once.  Could I NOT be on the wrong side of scary-ass statistics?  Please?  I have a regularly scheduled appointment with the OB tomorrow, and hope to pump him for more information, as well as a referral (Any NYC readers have a great endocrinologist they’d like to recommend?  I got dizzy looking at the sheer number of them on my insurance’s web site.)

Have I mentioned how tired I am of not being allowed to relax?  I just start to, and then something else comes up.  Something shitty.  Something scary.

Tired of this.  Want it to be September already.  Want to sleep til then.

Goddamnitall.

Eleven and a half weeks, and all seems well.  Spotting has (dare I say it aloud) ended.

Such.  A.  Relief.

Even though I’d stopped panicking each and every time I saw blood, it was still taking more out of me than I realized.  Because now that it’s gone (knock wood) it feels wonderful.  Like I’ve been handed a reprieve.  It’s been a long 5 weeks.

I’m bloated enough that I’m considering taking Colace, but I’m nervous about that.  Never had to worry about things like this before, but what happens if it takes effect while you’re out & about your day?  Yikes.  I’d say I’ll wait til a weekend, but I might just explode before then.  Constipation sucks.

The girls are very happy with their new C-cup accommodations, and I am enjoying the feeling of not bursting out the top of my bra, muffin-wise.  Definitely need to get my camera charged and start taking belly shots, because I’ve definitely developed a belly.  Of course, that could be the ‘eat what you can when you can’ mentality that I’ve adopted.  I’ve been too nervous to step on a scale since I am, technically, way too early to be gaining any weight yet.

Other than the street drama, the lovely weekend, and the work nastiness, nothing’s really changed.  I’ve an OB appointment tomorrow morning, and for the first time I think I can honestly say that I’d be ok if he had to cancel it.  I’m pregnant, and I have every bit of confidence that I’ll still be pregnant this time tomorrow.  And the day after that.

Wow.

1.  According to my ticker, I have fewer than 200 days left to go – 199, to be exact (which of course, it likely won’t be.)  Big milestone, if completely arbitrary!

2.  Tomorrow was my due date for the pregnancy I really thought would work out.  Not particularly grateful that my brain refuses to let me forget that, but grateful that a)  I’m pregnant, and b) it wasn’t all that long ago – doesn’t FEEL that long ago.  Which, if I take it and apply it to the future, means that September might not actually be a lifetime away, the way it feels right now.  That’s encouraging, right?

3.  The ongoing nightmare in the electrical conduits outside our bedroom actually halted at 11:30 last night.  At 11:00pm they were still using the Cat to rip up the street.  I thought it was literally going to go on all night.  Grateful.  I really needed the sleep after the late night at work coupled with the early morning.

4.  Target sells cheap bras.  They even fit (for the moment.  Dear lord, am I going to have to buy a D-cup?)

5.  Appointment tomorrow morning, which will cut into my Realm of Pain day.  Darn the luck.

1.  I love getting to skip to a new month when yesterday was only the 28th.  Juvenile, I know.  I prefer to think of myself as “young at heart, if not young in the ovaries…”

2.  I spent much of yesterday in the company of two of the dearest women I’ve ever known.  One of whom I’d never “met” before yesterday.  Taking an afternoon to hang out with Mekate & Mo was one of the best things I’ve done in ages.  Thank you, ladies, for one of the nicest Sundays I can remember.  Can’t wait to see you again.

3.  I get to work at the Sane Branch today.  ’nuff said.

4.  My last Lovenox injection until after the CVS was last night.  Won’t miss that bit of my nightly routine for the next week or two.   In fact, I’m hoping to have a bruise-free belly to start up with again, after the genetic testing procedure is over and I’m cleared to have thin blood again.

5.  We didn’t die from carbon-monoxide poisoning last night OR burn to death in our bed.  Underground electrical fire in the ditch outside our basement bedroom caused exploding light bulbs, and a stink of electricity gone awry, which caused a neighbor to call 911.  Which caused 5 hook & ladder trucks, 3 ambulances, and an assortment of police cars to show up at 5:30am, sirens a’blaring.  The cowardly whippet may never recover, but hey!  Firemen!  Firemen everywhere! 

Oh, yawn….

1.  I love the little green market right around the corner.  Rather nifty that when I neglect to brush off the 2 feet of drifted snow from my patio plants until 6:25 to discover that my thyme and rosemary died this winter (and are therefore unable to provide me with fresh herbs for the marinade that I’m making at 6:30  for tomorrow’s meal) that I can just run and buy them around the corner with no hassle, no fuss.  There are some nice things about living in NY.

2.  I’m going to say it again – Freedom Pharmacy ROCKS.  My prescription did not arrive on time due to the storm conditions on Friday.  Normally, no big deal, but I cut it kind of close and, you know, the weekend.  So I called, and instead of giving me the tracking number and saying “good luck with that”, the woman I got hold of called FedEx herself.  When she’d been on hold for a few minutes, she offered to call me back when she learned anything.  She called back 15 minutes later to say that she was still on hold and that they were just going to overnight a new package to me, to make sure that it arrived before I ran out.  Both packages arrived yesterday, and when I called (because I realized there was no receipt in the overnighted package, which means they didn’t charge me yet for it) to give them a credit card number for the copay, I complimented the rep. on their customer service, and she was appreciative because apparently, the pharmacy has been without electricity since Thursday.  They’re running their computers off a generator but basically operating in the dark and cold, dealing with panicky IF patients who haven’t received their orders.  And under those conditions I got such fantastic customer service?  Seriously, these people ARE THE BEST.

3.  I finished my knitting pattern last night – and seriously, people, for someone with no computer training, I did GOOD on this one – and started the baby blanket to end all baby blankets.  It might not turn out as nicely as I’m imagining it, but it won’t be for want of a decent pattern.  Very proud of myself.

4.  Ah heartburn!  I’m not feeling anywhere near as yucky in the afternoons (though that didn’t stop me from taking a preemptive nap yesterday) but the heartburn, she sneaks up on me at odd hours of the day.  Nasty, though totally treatable with Tums, but oh-so-reassuring!

5.  Had a good writing day (ok, a good writing 2-3 hours) yesterday.  Figured out where, exactly, my revelations from last week are going to fit into the existing manuscript and (sort of) started piecing the ending together to incorporate the new bits.  It’s coming together.  In slow-like-brontosauruses-mating-motion, but still.  Coming together.