1.  July is half over!  When did this happen?  Wow!  Italy soon!  Baby soon after that!  Wow!

2.  Yesterday did me good.  I think I must have picked up some kind of a 24 hour bug, because although I napped three times yesterday, I didn’t feel yucky the way I did on Tuesday.  And I slept like a log.

3.  The Boy is more excited about househunting than I am.  This is the same Boy who loves Brooklyn at least as much as he loves playing Civilization.  Or eating steak.  Or, well, anything else that isn’t a person.  I think we might head back to NH next weekend to have another look at the Farm, as well as a look at some other properties we’ve stumbled over online.  We spent our normal “Let’s watch some Friends dvds” time searching real estate sites last night.  And he just poked his head in to ask me to send him the listings of my ’5 favorite properties’.  Holy shit, internets – I think we might really end up doing this!

4.  It’s a coffee morning.  Yay, coffee!  And for the dog, it was a squirrel morning.  And a ‘snuggle in bed once the air conditioner was turned off at 6am’ morning.  A good morning, in other words.

5.  One of the old Italian ladies at the bakery where I go for my morning roll on roll-&-coffee mornings was teasing me about my poor planning, being so heavily pregnant during the hottest part of summer.  “That’s what happens when you’re having fun!”  she cackled.  And, for the first time, rather than biting my tongue to keep from saying something inappropriate about injections, donors, surgeries major & minor, I just laughed with her and said “Yeah, well, you know how it is.”  “Honey, do I ever!”  A most satisfying exchange.  Maybe, eventually, I’ll be able to let this infertility go.  Maybe not, but this morning gave me a bit of hope.

My husband finally met my OB, and fortunately, we were the first appointment of the day, so  Doc had time to do more than run an U/S wand over my belly, announce with great aplomb “Your baby is still alive!” and walk out the door, which is his usual MO.

He chatted and made jokes and went over different indications of labor that would mean it’s time to call him.  He reiterated several times that although pregnant women do sometimes call him for stupid things , he’d much rather that, than have them NOT call when they should have – which he said happened a lot more often, especially with IVF patients.

He mentioned that if I show up at Beth Israel more than 3 times for “false labor” they’d probably try to induce me, so to call him before heading to the hospital on my own if I want to avoid that.

He also mentioned that yeah, if this baby’s head proportions continue on at this rate, it’ll make a c-section much more likely.  Especially given my age.  And small size.

He also mentioned that he was pretty sure Thor wasn’t going to beat his current record of a 12# vaginal delivery.  (Please, god, no!)  This made me happy.

He also SHOWED me my GTT results, and I realized that although his phone message said (and I know because I listened to it 3 times) that my 2 hour results were 198 – the only abnormal results out of the 4 – they were actually 98.  Way normal.  Which makes his jokes about not being sure they even gave me the Glucose drink more understandable.  I confess I got a bit scared again once I realized I was having a big baby, that maybe that one abnormal number out of four was enough of a warning that I should be following more of a GD diet regardless of numbers.  But now?  Now I say “Bring on the popsicles!”

Still haven’t gained weight, but doc’s not worried since I started out with plenty of IVF chub & the baby’s obviously not suffering any form of malnourishment.  I officially (officially, because before today, he didn’t know!) weigh more than my husband – who’s got almost a foot of height on me.  Oi.

Italy trip once again got the seal of approval.

My BP continues low/normal (110/70) and my next appointment is right before we leave for Tuscany.  I’ll be on Lovenox until August 18, at which point he’s just taking me off the blood thinners entirely, not moving me to Heparin as some docs do.  Still no stretch marks on my belly, though I’ve got a linea nigra all the way up to my ribcage, and I’m a little out-of-sorts that it’s crooked.  But then again, so is my newly-outie belly button.  And my belly in general seems to be bigger on the left than the right side.

Heartburn/acid reflux is either really really bad or non-existent on a day-to-day basis.  Chocolate’s the only thing I’ve found that absolutely triggers it, though I have my suspicions about salsa/raw onions.  Which sucks, but there it is.  When The Reflux isn’t bad, so I can sleep on my side, the SI back pain is manageable the next day.  I think  those two things were definitely related – sleeping sitting up in bed, sort of on my tailbone probably exacerbated this whole back-pain-trauma is what I’m thinking.  Now my back’s a bit sore, but after a hot shower to loosen everything up in the morning, I rarely have to limp at all during the day.

Hands and feet are swollen – no more wedding ring til after September, most likely.  And thank goodness it’s flip flop weather.  I’m definitely dealing with a bit of carpal tunnel in my hands, tingling & numbness, but so far it’s manageable.

Constipation?   Let’s just say that I am very happy figs are finally in season.  And that prunes are ALWAYS in season.  Pomegranate juice is my friend.  Feeling bloated and yechy has been, hands down, the worst symptom all along and will likely continue til the end.

Skin is clear, hair & fingernails are growing like mad, moods remain pretty darned consistent and cheerful.  I am sleepy.  Oh god, am I sleepy.  I could sleep for days, weeks, months.

And I go back to see him in 2 weeks.  When I get back from Italy, mid-August, it’ll be every week.

Dang.  This is really happening.

(woohoo!)

1.  Rain!  Glorious rain!  Not that it’s cooling down much, but at least the trees won’t be wilting today!

2.  OB appointment this morning, and the Boy is coming along to meet the man who’s going to hand him his son. Which should be sort of fun.

3.  Despite me being momentarily frightened last night – I couldn’t stop sweating all day, felt generally blechy – OMG, it’s Listeria! – I think I’m fine.  Just hot.  Because, well, it’s summer & the a/c doesn’t really cut the heat when it’s this humid.

4.  I may, actually, call in sick today after my appointment.  I could use another 3 or 4 hours of napping time to really feel up to par.  Despite my best intentions, I may not be working at all in August.  I.  Am.  So.  Tired.  Which is ok.  Thor is taking what he needs to grow strong enough to simultaneously punch my bladder and kick my ribs, and he can do that as much as he wants.  So grateful he’s growing so well despite my seeming inability to put on any weight this summer.

5.  I am oddly amused by the fact that the dog is not quite bright enough to know that if it’s raining hard enough for her to not want to go out back, it will also be raining hard enough that she will not want to go for a walk.  But no!  She gets all excited about her walk, just like she always does.  Then we go outside, the first raindrops proceed to hit her back, and she turns around and comes straight back into the house.  Silly little dog.

1.  So, we spent last night discussing all the ways we could remodel The Farm to make it more comfortable.  The Boy, apparently, spent all day dreaming about that gorgeous hillside.  Looks like that property is not yet out of the running!

2.  Day off today.  Day off begun with a long, lazy, lie-in and a phone call from one of our NH friends wanting to send us a link to “the perfect house” and also to tell me that she found me a perfect part-time job.  The house is, actually, semi-interesting, though I have to say I’m not particularly interested in a new job at the moment. Am very interested, though, in the fact that our friends are doing legwork on our behalf.  It’s nice to feel like they’d welcome us up there, invading their state with our New York ways!

3.  According to my friends at the ROP, the drama just continues to escalate.  I am feeling well and truly grateful for the dust plume that got me the hell away from her when it did.

4.  According to the ditzy manager at the new branch, the meeting I have to attend at the ROP next week is, in fact, a baby shower.  I’m grinning like a fool as I write this, even though I would have protested, if asked, that I don’t need a silly shower.  I’m just simply tickled and touched that my friends there want to do something so nice for me.  I have not, over the last two years, been at my best while on the job.  It’s good to know I didn’t alienate people too much – or that they understood & didn’t hold it against me.

5.  Another overcast day.  Hot & humid, but SO MUCH BETTER than the summer hell that was last week.

Well, we went and saw The Farm.  And it was amazing.  The land was astonishingly beautiful, a hilltop covered with grapevines and blueberry bushes, a holler running fat with tapped maple trees and underbrush thick with wasps and birds and little rodenty things.  Nellie made a friend of Roscoe, the neighbor’s big Akita, and I wanted to move into the barn, which was airy and clean and spacious.

The house, however, was another matter.

Don’t get me wrong – there was nothing WRONG about it.  An old farmhouse, kept up rather nicely, refinished wood floors, lots of original molding, original features (summer kitchen!) coupled with some really lovely (if out-of-period) additions.  But it felt weird.  And how lame is that, that for me, I guess it all boils down to feng-shui.  But I walked into that house and felt uncomfortable.  I toured the whole house, trying to imagine our things, our lives there.  And I just felt itchy.

The front door opens on the dining room, which is also one of the entrances to the greenhouse (dear lord, a greenhouse!) and the in-law apartment and the stairway up to the bedrooms.  Beyond the dining room is the kitchen, which leads to the living room.

The second floor was crammed with bedrooms and bathrooms, just as we knew it would be, no surprises there.  And the attic had some serious potential for offices or a big old master bedroom at some future renovation-y time in our lives.

But the first floor.  The living floor.  It felt inside out, somehow, disjointed and odd.  Distinctly uncomfortable.

And, in New Hampshire especially, spending time indoors is pretty much what one does.  I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be getting a huge amount of enjoyment out of the beautiful grounds in February.

And the nearest town is not a town that feels particularly welcoming.  It’s a depressed milltown, and it shows.  Its school has fallen rather dramatically in rankings lately, and it just doesn’t seem like a great place to drop in, have coffee, and meet some new friends.

So we are not placing a bid.  Despite the seller having dropped the price by a huge amount just a couple of days ago.  We may still go back to this house, because there is an awful lot of it that is just perfect.  (Greenhouse.  Barn.  Summer kitchen.  Maple stand.  Grape vines.  40 acres of woodland. Well-regarded private high school in town.)  We may still end up bidding, but we will not be doing it right now, and we may not end up doing it ever.

Which feels sad, but also like the right thing to do.

*sniff*

Ah well.  The house hunting adventure has officially begun!

1.  The whirlwind trip north was, if not unalloyed fun, at least unalloyed interesting. Had a lovely visit with a friend from a big writing workshop I did in my youth.  Had a wonderful time with the friends who were here last week, hosting us in their house instead.  Had a great time going to check out The Farm.  The Boy didn’t explode with fury even once in the car over traffic delays – always a traveling hazard with him.  A good (if WAAAAYYY short) weekend.

2.  Slept poorly in NH, but divinely once I came home.  It’s almost worth a nearly sleepless night to sleep soundly for 8 hours….

3.  Only 67 days left, according to my widget.  This makes me __________!
a) Happy
b) Terrified
c) Eager
d) Impatient
e) All of the Above

Um, yeah.  Let’s make that answer an ‘E’.

4.  While standing outside the hotel, chatting with my writing friend, a hotel  employee came up, obviously interested in Nellie the Wonder whippet.  “Of course you can pet her – she LIVES to be pet” we assured him.  He proceeded to fall all over himself adoring her.  When he was done, he thanked us profusely, gave us his name to use if we needed anything.  We assured him we were fine, and he suggested we go use the gazebo.  “It’s ok, it’s still wet from the rain but we’re fine, thank you anyway.”  Well, then nothing would do but that he came out with an armload of towels and dried off the gazebo seats for us. “Thank you!  Thank you so much!”  Another few minutes went by with us sitting in the (now) dry gazebo, and out he comes again – this time with an armload of water bottles, a bowl from the restaurant and the explanation, “I could hardly bring the dog some water without bringing some for you all too – just be sure to tell anyone who asks that you bought it at the gift shop!”

All I can say is “Wow” -  Marriott Boston, your employees are amazing (if, perhaps, wasted outside the area of animal care – get thee to a veterinary school, young man!)  And Michael, wherever you are, I truly hope that you get lots of things in your life that make you as happy as playing with Nellie did.

5.  After last week’s nasty bouts with acid reflux, this week I seem to be fine whether I eat spicy Pakistani food, or mellow cheese & crackers.  Don’t know what triggers this stuff, but it’s nice to get another break for a while.

1.  Watched The Business of Being Born last night (my first time ever downloading a movie from Netflix – how cool is that service?) and really enjoyed it.  Not so much that it was new info for me, because it wasn’t, but I rather liked the filmed bits showing women actually giving birth at home and getting emotional.  I also – oddly – found it rather wonderful that the filmmaker whose homebirth was going to be a part of the movie ended up being transferred to a hospital for an emergency c-section at 35 weeks or so.  And that became part of the movie, too, which I was pleased about – they actually did balance it out with “and yeah, sometimes a hospital is the only place you’re going to get that kid out with mom & baby still healthy.”  A refreshingly open movie.

2.  After coffee and dog-walk, we’re on our way up to Mass/NH to pick up the Boy and (tomorrow) go look at the farm I have my heart set on living in.  We’ll see if the reality lives up to my daydreams, eh?  So much fun to go looking at a place to live like a normal married couple (I moved into the Boy’s house, which was already furnished and his when I got here.)  Really looking forward to building a home together.

3.  Just downloaded (since I was already on a downloading trend) one of my favorite albums ever – the soundtrack from “Until the End of the World”.  Which is one of my favorite movies ever.

4.  Working away from the ROP yesterday, and now for the foreseeable future, is such a relief I cannot express it adequately.  Sane people.  People who respond appropriately, even to stressful situations.  Ah!  Bliss!

5.  Coconut popsicles.  And an avocado sandwich for dinner (hey, I’m having a hard time gaining weight due to the nighttime nose-puking, so don’t judge me too harshly!)  Also, I bought my first (of many, I’m sure) carton of fresh figs – a treat I’d never had before moving to NYC but am now addicted to.  Summer fruit is the best anyway, but fresh figs?  OMG, they’re the best.

1.  You are reading the blog of a person who may not ever have to work another day at the Realm of Pain.  I’ve been semi-permanently transferred to another branch.  Not a great branch, but better than the ROP, you know?  Shoot, if I’d known that playing the “I’m pregnant and can’t be around dangerous things” card would work this well & quickly, I’d've been bitching about the construction issues a long time ago.  Best thing?  New branch has a “real” Mexican place nearby that sells homemade tortillas & rice/beans, so I’m going to be eating cheap & tasty for the next couple of weeks whilst enjoying my time away from the crazy Princess.

Woohooo!

2.  There are clouds today.  They may not last, and they made last night pretty miserable, but maybe they’ll hold the temp down today.

3.  Tomorrow I’m driving up to meet the Boy at one of his writing conventions – where I’ll get to see a friend whom I haven’t seen in a very long time, as well as friends we saw just last week.  Plus we get to look around the farm I want to buy, and get a better feel for whether or not it’s right for us.  (pleasepleasepleaseplease!)  All in all, a couple of days to be excited about!

4.  The dog has taken to really getting excited about taking walks with me in the morning.  Which was always our automatic routine, but what with the back pain & all, I’ve been slacking off on.  She’s taken to leaping out of bed when I do and immediately stationing herself by the front door – nevermind that I haven’t showered or eaten yet.  Now that I’m able to cautiously push the walking envelope a bit without descending into agony, it’s been fun indulging her a little bit by taking her for a walk every day without fail. This for the dog who refuses to step foot from the stoop if there is rain falling or not-yet-evaporated, snow, temperatures over 75* or under 72*.  I guess she likes our quiet time together almost as much as I do.

5.  Weekend.  Weekend with no work scheduled.  Whew.

Ok, thank you all for your words of comfort regarding my big-headed baby.  The U/S doc actually did a pretty good job of explaining how DE complicates things, and how even with a ‘normal’ 2-parent child, when dad is big and mom is little, mom’s influence tends to win out until baby’s born, at which point he’ll “catch up” and get big.  With three of us in the mix, my little-self might be keeping him small enough to deliver safely, while his big head might indicate he’s just gonna be a big kid once he’s out of the womb.  Ms. DonorFantastica was taller than me, but not a tall woman, so who can say?  Still, chances are, he’ll be taller than I am.

Which is great because I need another people in this house towering over me.

But enough of you provided me with similar stories of U/S measuring inaccuracies that I’m putting the nerves on hold for a while.  Short kid with big brain isn’t a terrible fate – better than tall kid tiny brain, so if I have to imagine worst case scenarios, this one aint even close.  And it helps that we had the CVS done, to definitively rule out the chromosomal disorders that short femurs can indicate.

And I did get to see a blurry face shot, thanks to the tricksy U/S work of the doctor – if I can get it to scan correctly, I’ll post it (along with helpful arrows pointing to eyes and nose and mouth.  He has chubby cheeks, though.  My baby has chubby cheeks.  How cool is that?

1.  I got sent away from the Realm of Pain yesterday – just for yesterday & today, but I’ll still count it a blessing.  The branch is being renovated, and we’re working in the basement while the main floor is being redone.  The reason we were out of the branch entirely for so long this winter is because the age of the building means that behind all the walls, ceilings, and floors is a nice juicy layer of asbestos.  So yesterday, in the middle of other construction related irritations (alarms that couldn’t be shut down, an almighty pounding and shouting and vibrating upstairs) the fire alarm – the one with flashy lights & automatically calling the fire department – comes on, and all of a sudden the air is filled with – something.

Something that tasted chalky.  Like, say, gypsum.  Which means maybe a wall came down that they weren’t intending to come down?  Whatever.  When it was still hanging in the air after about 10 minutes, I called the health & safety rep. to complain & ask for an air filter or a mask or something.

She took my complaint seriously, and made the staffing person at Central find me a temporary post, stat.  So I got to wait for a bus in the middle of the day, but at least I wasn’t breathing in that crap all day.  My poor coworkers (whose non-pregnant, non-complaining lungs are, apparently, not as important as mine) had to stay, and for that I am sad.  But 2 days without the princess?

Life is good.

2.  Caprese salad for dinner last night.  Mmmm.  Cool.  Mmmmm.

3.  During one of the several times that the subway stopped yesterday, I was trapped on a crowded F train with no air conditioning.  Just as I was getting seriously woozy, a woman halfway down the car noticed, somehow, rousted another woman from her seat, and bulled her way through the crowd to grab me by the wrist, drag me over to the vacated seat and plunk me down in it.

Obviously a mother, herself.

She scolded me all the way to her next stop, about how I needed to kick lazy riders out of their seats.  “They’ll be happy to do it,” she insisted.  “Yeah, if you’re around,” I didn’t say.  “And only because otherwise they’d be afraid that you’d come after them.  Though she be but little, man was she ever fierce!  And I didn’t pass out on the subway.  Three cheers.

4.  Tomorrow’s Friday.  Which is one day closer to Sunday.  Which is when we get to tour the farm in NH where I want to live.

5.  Thor was mightily active yesterday – which is always a good day in my book.  Oh – there he goes again.  Somersault!