My new endocrinologist is a doll.  He’s about 80, behaves like a favorite grandfather, and since his daughter lives in Brooklyn, I’m ok in his book.  Or so he says.  We were actually chatting up a storm.  (He’s way too friendly to be a doctor.  Honestly, NYC doctors are among the nicest guys I’ve ever met.  Doctors aren’t this pleasant in the southwest.  What’s up with that?)

Anyway, my thyroid gland is enlarged, but it happens in pregnancy, so he’s not too worried.  We ran more bloodwork, the results from which won’t be back before next week, but he advised me to take an extra prednisone during the procedures for its immune suppressant properties, and assured me I’d be fine.  My pulserate was high (90bpm), but I told him it was because I was in a doctor’s office.  He checked again in a few minutes after we’d been talking about chickens and the Grand Canyon and it was lower (80bpm) so he laughed and told me not to worry so much.

(BTW, I’m sensing a doctor’s advice theme here, since it’s the second time I’ve heard that advice from a fatherly-type doctor in the last few months) which is sort of sucky because I’m so much better than I used to be.  Can’t I get some credit for that?  If they’d known me in full-on worry mode, they’d've probably checked me into an institution for the dangerously anxious.

Anyway, my blood pressure is still great, so he told me that unless I started presenting some symptoms other than a highish heartrate, they’d probably just monitor me (Yay! More blood work appointments!) and not try to medicate me with no cause (Yay!  MIght still be able to breastfeed safely!)  He said there was every chance that this would resolve on its own in another 6 weeks or so, and I decided that’s what I’m going to hope for.

It was very reassuring.  And I don’t have to dread going back there, because he’s a nice guy.  And I’m fairly convinced I’m not going to die next week or lose Sprog.

Whew.  Now if I could just be allowed a few days with nothing to fret about, I’d be oh-so-grateful.

Of course, I’m back to the Realm of Pain today.  So much for that brilliant idea…

And I have an appointment for this morning with an endocrinologist.  Yesterday’s OB appointment was delayed for about an hour while the doctor ran – literally – to catch an emergency delivery.  The woman showed up to L&D fully dilated.  We should all have labors that only last an hour.  Anyway, all of us – patients & stafff were doing everything but playing word games to pass the time, and I told the nurse I was having a hard time narrowing down which endocrinologist to call, blah blah blah.  So she got on her computer, I got on my iPod, and we narrowed it down to docs she knew who would take my insurance.

And she apparently gave me their personal office numbers, because when I called the first guy, he answered, “Hello?”  Me:  ”Oh, sorry, I was looking for Dr. B.”  ”That’s me.  What’s up?”  I gave him my sob story, about how my OB wants me to see someone stat because of the CVS next week, and he told me he no longer saw patients, but wanted to hear my numbers anyway.  Because my T3 & T4 numbers are elevated on top of my depressed TSH numbers, he agreed that I needed to be seen right away and that he’d make sure someone in his practice saw me immediately.  So he gave me a few numbers, and said he’d go over to the first one’s office to encourage his receptionist to make room for me in tomorrow’s schedule.

Wow.  It makes a difference to be able to wave names around – not to mention having the guy’s private number.

So I got in for an appointment at 11:30 this morning; I rearranged my work schedule so that I’ll work late tonight, and therefore not miss quite so many hours of work, and – hopefully – we can get this under control so that I can go back to worrying about productive things like the nasty-ass taste of the liquid B12 I’m taking.  Blech.

Since this most definitely is an immune thingy, and since I lost my last pregnancy during the week I came off of immune suppressants, it does make me wonder if this might have been behind that loss, since we never got a clear abnormal-genetic reason for it.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  Relieved to possibly have a reason?  Pissed off if my doctor never ordered thryoid-function tests as a routine part of my bloodwork?  I know he tested it pre-pregnancy, but since this is something that often only presents during pregnancy, what if it was never done after that BFP?  What if the prednisone pill I’m still popping is all that’s standing between me and another miscarriage?

Nah, never fear that I’ll run out of things to worry about.  More later, after the appointment.

SuperStarOB called me at work to tell me that my follow-up bloodwork came back & that I definitely have a hyperactive thyroid.

So of course I went to Dr. Google and scared the shit out of myself.  Hey – I’m now at risk of heart failure during a “thyroid storm” and my baby is at risk of stillbirth, miscarriage, or massive retardation!  I probably won’t be able to breastfeed!  My child has a possibility of developing hyperthyroidism too, immediately after birth!  Just because he’s lucky enough to be gestating in my malfunctioning body!  Woohoo!

Just once.  Once.  Could I NOT be on the wrong side of scary-ass statistics?  Please?  I have a regularly scheduled appointment with the OB tomorrow, and hope to pump him for more information, as well as a referral (Any NYC readers have a great endocrinologist they’d like to recommend?  I got dizzy looking at the sheer number of them on my insurance’s web site.)

Have I mentioned how tired I am of not being allowed to relax?  I just start to, and then something else comes up.  Something shitty.  Something scary.

Tired of this.  Want it to be September already.  Want to sleep til then.

Goddamnitall.

Such.  A.  Relief.

Even though I’d stopped panicking each and every time I saw blood, it was still taking more out of me than I realized.  Because now that it’s gone (knock wood) it feels wonderful.  Like I’ve been handed a reprieve.  It’s been a long 5 weeks.

I’m bloated enough that I’m considering taking Colace, but I’m nervous about that.  Never had to worry about things like this before, but what happens if it takes effect while you’re out & about your day?  Yikes.  I’d say I’ll wait til a weekend, but I might just explode before then.  Constipation sucks.

The girls are very happy with their new C-cup accommodations, and I am enjoying the feeling of not bursting out the top of my bra, muffin-wise.  Definitely need to get my camera charged and start taking belly shots, because I’ve definitely developed a belly.  Of course, that could be the ‘eat what you can when you can’ mentality that I’ve adopted.  I’ve been too nervous to step on a scale since I am, technically, way too early to be gaining any weight yet.

Other than the street drama, the lovely weekend, and the work nastiness, nothing’s really changed.  I’ve an OB appointment tomorrow morning, and for the first time I think I can honestly say that I’d be ok if he had to cancel it.  I’m pregnant, and I have every bit of confidence that I’ll still be pregnant this time tomorrow.  And the day after that.

Wow.